Unbelievable few months. Today, I was truly blessed with an epiphany – a gift of blessing, freedom and release from self-imposed mental torture that I have allowed since my acquiescence to unspoken conditioning began. To recap:
I am from the United States originally and have been living at the Findhorn Foundation in Scotland for the past several months. Living and breathing and practicing – not work as it had been known – but love, “love in action.” Findhorn is indeed a very special space – the veils are thin and there is an energy here that supports and expands you to be your highest and best self.
That being said, in late November, at Thanksgiving time, I found myself not in the U.S. where Thanksgiving is a critical event at the beginning of – what can be – a desperate and draining holiday season. I mean, at breakfast on Thanksgiving morning at Findhorn in Scotland, I found myself at a table with people from France, The Netherlands, Brazil, Portugal, England and South Africa. Not a one really had any clue what Thanksgiving Day is like. This was so interesting for my first time being in a new country for an old holiday. A Norwegian kindly went out later that morning to get a turkey and fixings for the 2 Americans in the house. The meal was delicious and the holidays began.
As time went on and Solstice approached and passed, Christmas Eve was different, Christmas Day as well and then we had Boxing Day which is the real holiday where (I was told) the wealthy used to give their servants a box the day after Christmas along with the day off. Then New Year’s Eve which was spectacular with a clear starry night, a silent walk through our labyrinth and then up into our Sanctuary for a silent meditation and then “nibbles” until midnight (or after for some). New Year’s Day was no TV or football (U.S. style) and I found I had escaped a lot of the external madness that had always been rampant. Oh yes, and we ate very well. Some tasty new treats and a good time was had by all.
That was the external human side of things. Also during this time, I became aware of way cosmic and way elemental energies ramping up. Read somewhere that a tsunami of change on all levels (mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, ether is, etc.) was coming. I could feel it. As the “water” receded from shore, all kinds of feelings were exposed.
It began with receiving an email from a former family member with the subject heading “forgive.” There was some past things between us. There was no apology in the text. There was a statement that I was missed and that a relationship was wanted of support and encouragement. Right. It felt like a one way street and I had been or allowed myself to be hurt on more than one occasion. My feelings were all over the place. The biggest for me was “I love you…but…(add here whatever, for me it was “but don’t hurt me). A dear friend would kindly explain to me that this was not love.
It got deeper. I observed myself withdraw from people who spoke negatively (meanly) to me or who spoke about negative things. I recognised my right not to participate but internally started to struggle to find a way to justify my behaviour.
And I chose not to respond to the initial email.
Then, there was a big project at the Foundation our whole team was helping and I got overwhelmed by the feelings that I felt and that I was unconsciously picking up as we “spring cleaned” throughout this beautiful old Victorian Hotel. I withdrew and old feelings of not fitting in, not being good enough, not working up to other’s standards…I could go on. Just a maelstrom of all kinds of not positive feelings about me.
Here I am at Findhorn…Where is the light? Where is my light? Where is my love?
Seemingly out of nowhere, I was reading things online and got a great book (Healing Resistance by Kazu Haga) about “fawning” – pleasing others to the point of subsuming or knowing self and internal violence – being unrelentingly mentally cruel to one’s self. Just reading gave some, but not much, relief. Also, cosmically, the energy influxes are real (January 12th and 13th, 2020 were two of the most powerful days I have experienced in my life) and powerful – game changers. February 2, 2020 was a perfect palindrome day. The world – this beautiful blue green planet – will never be what it was ever again. We are on the uptick. Going up. Things are – everything is – going to get more and more better from here without a doubt.
So, why wasn’t I feeling it. I was getting more stressed about how I was inside. My most important friend with whom we shared and provided invaluable support for months – seemingly quit speaking with me…or did I quit speaking…what happened…the connection…the quality time together was not happening. I struggled to figure out what was going on…what had I done or said or what? Could not figure it out and so I let it be outwardly. Spiritually, I knew to trust and surrender. Mentally, I was churning with this and all of the other times I felt disconnected from someone important to me. Where was the answer…this went on for days…until today.
There is a magic recipe that never fails me for relief. It is a recipe that is beyond simple and that, when the going gets tough, I often do not utilise (foolishly) until it is the last resort. Like I am determined to “go it alone” or figure it out on my own. Well, it is not possible. First, we are never alone. Even if you do not have a physical being present, the unseen beings of love and light that surround you are always providing you with comfort, support, tips whether you are aware or not. You know, all that I read online or the cool books I came across are part of that.
The magic recipe is to ask for Divine Assistance without expectation. I was desperate this morning and I surrendered my pride (and whatever else I am not sure) and I asked for Divine Assistance. I also surrendered assumption because after I made my request, nothing happened. At least not right away and so I forgot. So, letting go of the request (out of mind) and releasing the request to the universe is important too.
Anyway, this is what happened. You can know that you have done very well if you got all the way here to see why I have taken the time to write this blog.
This morning, I was making coffee and teas for the Dining Room. A coworker from the Kitchen brought me a pitcher of hot milk which is important to my process as it is so loved by coffee drinkers. As he set the pitcher down, I looked into his eyes and said sincerely from the heart “Thank You. You know that people love hot milk.” His eyes really lit up. He really received my gratitude and sincerity. I could feel it. And I added “It is the simple things that are the most important.”
Boom. Less than 5 minutes later, I had an epiphany that heals and improves all my relating for the rest of my life. I have found freedom and the following is it for me:
Each time a human being appears in front of you in the moment. This is a miracle and gift to you from the Universe. The Universe is attempting to communicate with you directly. All the atoms and molecules have coalesced into something that is so similar to you but is not you. This is worth your attention. Now I know.
The only responsibility that I have at any moment is to pay attention to and give love to what appears to me In the moment. To this human being, I will look them in the eyes, share kindness, honouring myself and them. This is all that I am responsible for. (Of course, I can also choose not to have the interaction but).
There is no other responsibility or truth except for the present moment now. What happened yesterday or two years ago when I said or did something I felt bad about or the other person did not do what I thought they should have done or said or whatever. There is no apology or explanation or assumption or expectation or responsibility that I have beyond the present moment.
All the mental thoughts I had wasted wondering what I could do to fix, what I need to say or give or what they should give me or say, etc. Is a waste of time. If it was bad yesterday, it can be better today and it is better with kindness and love in the present moment. That’s it. The past is gone and the future does not exist. For the first time, be here now sunk to a deeper moment more visceral level for me. I am so in love with life.
These feelings reminded me of two things that I have carried with me from the past.
On a public television program about relationships, the speaker once proposed that: “Each morning when you are in your kitchen getting a cup of coffee with your husband or wife or loved one. Consciously look at them and consciously choose in that moment to be with that person and know that you are sharing your life and love with the right person now and would have no one else.” Lovely thought.
Joanna Macy wrote in her autobiography that before she married her husband, they were visiting a friend who was also a minister when they were living in Harlem. He said to the young couple: “Always consider your loved one a mystery, someone you do not know but are fascinated by and very interested in.” This, to me, is so beautiful, for I often do not know myself, nor do I assume that I do. What a gift it is to not assume we know what another wants or needs or is like? What a gift to not expect certain reactions, etc.
I will leave it here for now.
From my heart to yours, please keep in mind and ponder what resonates and, with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away and get on with loving yourself and this Beautiful life that we are all creating together.
Peace and love and joy and light to you, Elizabeth
What is this storm ends? Lightning Strike has got to be still and possibly forever my favorite video of electronic image put to music. Wow. Shared with love and respect. I see the beauty and magnifcence of The Sidhe in this piece.
With all of the moves that I have made in the past 10 years, the books that I have collected have come with me.
Lately, they are a powerful source of inspiration. A book or its title will catch my eye and when I consciously act on the prompt to pick up that tome, I do so and am in awe and amazed each time at the page and paragraph I turn to.
When I allow, the “invisible” makes sure that I have what is needed in each and every moment. With a book, the author speaks direct to me and to my heart.
There is a heart resonance and gratitude along with the awe and amazement. For example, this morning Joseph Weed’s Wisdom of the Mystic Masters from 50 years ago – 1968 – is a rich fecund source of inspiration. Here we go, from page 89:
“This chapter would not be complete without comment upon the dissipation of energy. You have been told how to accumulate and increase your energy. You should also know how to conserve it. We all waste energy. If we only consumed energy by work we would all be completely healthy and would actually be capable of many times the amount of work we presently do. But we dissipate our precious energy in a thousand ways all unwise and most of them unnecessary. Here are a few big energy-consumers to avoid — worry, fear, resentment (guilt, shame too) and hurry. Each chews up large quantities of energy and I dare say you allow one or more emiotional parasites prey upon you. Remember, everything you turn your attention to is the recipient of some of your energy. You literally give it away. Sometimes you get part or all of it back, as when you admire and rejoice in the beauty of a flower or a sunset. Sometimes when you unselfishly care for another your dividends are greater than the energy you use. But far more often you dissipate it unnecessarily through your eyes and other senses. You look here or there sometimes out of curiosity and sometimes just because your attention is captured or demanded, and each time you give away something of yourself. Your eyes dissipate a grat deal of energy. A realization of this by teachers of old led them to instruct their pupils to fasten their gaze upon the tip of their nose when attempting to meditate. This has no value except to reduce the dissipation of the pupil’s energy and to help him keep his mind up on the seed thought. Of course, in our present living conditions it is impossible not to look. Usually our very lives depend upon this form of alertness. But when you have been made aware of the potential energy waste you can reduce it enormously. Think about this. You can make yourself a much more powerful person just by effecting an economy in this one department.”
Those of you who have read If Women Rose Rooted will know that the journey offered within the book begins with a remarkable old story from the Arthurian/Grail tradition which describes the coming o…
(above artwork and poetry by heather bauer) “this look of sorrow as she walked among the fires – it was familiar to him – he had felt that way when he was younger. how to talk about it, how to talk…
So, there is something in the air. Something new – fresher than fresh. There is something beyond precious that I have tasted in the rains this summer.
Can you feel it? Do you sense and taste the purity?
I had a dream during a rainstorm this past Monday. Amazing. The storm was a thundering all around calling me, calling to me, calling me to get up and out of bed. Calling me to come out and play. It was the middle of the night – or so I thought – so I said no way. I went back to sleep to dream. The dream got me to get up and my front door was open.
I was told to look outside that there was a white fog and you could not see any distance. Look outside. Look outside and I did. They were right, I could not see beyond the first tree and everything everywhere was white. The grass had a white frost and every green leaf coated in white. It was daytime and it was not cold. Everything was covered in a white frost. It was not cold. It was beautiful. Everything was coated in white – white frost and the air was white – white fog.
The storm was powerful special. Next time, I will be sure to get up and go out into the storm a bit as I have for the storms this summer. The storms this summer are amazing. Such gifts happening after record heat. The rain has been so refreshing. The rain has felt so important that I have been sure to go out and allow the rain to soak me.
After the dream during the electric rain storm this week, I was moved and I got quiet. I became still and I reached inside – moved inside my being. This life spoke to me and what it told me stopped me in my tracks and brought me to my knees in awe and amazement.
Brother, sister, the ice caps are melting. I live closer to the North Pole and I tell you this summer I have been tasting the waters melted. These waters have been frozen for millenia or longer. Frozen for thousand of years, these waters are freed in vapor that has moved out and down over the Pacific Ocean and then has swirled up and moved out over this continent and returned to this earth as rain. Primordial rain. Water so pure that we current humans have no concept or word for it. Taste the rain these days. Smell it. Breathe it in. It is precious. Such a precious gift that is so ancient and so new. Wow. The purity is a gift from our Mother Earth and Father Sun. This is a deal changer. So unexpected and so powerful. Purity released on a scale beyond measurement from water frozen in time before history. Awesome. Magical. A gift.
The lotus flower of our life experience begins to bloom from the seeming depths and dregs. Here, now, is where I begin. So much has taken place in 2014 that my head and heart and body and soul reel externally.
And yet, internally, something – many things – have changed forever. There is a knowing, a peace, a stillness, that warms my heart and fills my being with love and light. This influx is self-allowed. The presence of simple being is the only reality and to access this place one only needs to give permission.
This is the trick that has been hidden from man for centuries. It is each human’s sovereign right to be whole, at peace and full of love. This knowing is the foundation for all else. Last week, I participated in my first practice of Yoga Nidra in conjunction with the sounding of the 5 Tibetan seed syllables. The Yoga Nidra facilitator, Michelle, used the words “inner refuge” as she moved us through awareness of focus on all areas of the body. Inner refuge. Inner refuge. Inner refuge. This is another truth that has been left out of most teachings.
What is this inner refuge? This is who we are, who we always have been and who we will always be. Inside our being, inside our heart is a knowing, a peace that surpasseth all understanding of our trained indoctrination to focus solely on the external – especially for solace and love. Ahhh, the love and solace originates within our own being. The power, strength and courage to be is self-generated.
I have always wanted to feel safe and protected. Now, this day of 24 November 2014, I know with certainty that I am and always will be safe and protected for that is my reality. There is no thing else. We were trained to live, work and play in a web of illusion…a world that was never real or complete…a world external cut off from Nature, and more damaging, cut off from self. We had to be someone else to win or receive approval and acceptance it seemed. There are a few who held on to their native ability to feel good on their own. However, I, like most, was driven to receive peace from approval and acknowledgement from others or society.
Empty and anxious, I was hypnotized into struggle and fear. There can never be peace if you are trying to force life or yourself into being something that you are not. It has taken more than a year for me to halt the artifice, halt the addiction of wanting to fit in and be accepted. Hopefully, for others, the disentangling from illusion will be much swifter. Almost all, well really all, that I was taught and accepted as truth from society was illusion – weaving a web of an artificial life that needed constant attention (to include fear and anxiety) to unsatisfactorily sustain. It is not and will never be possible to create an artificial life based on illusions of the mind. It has taken this time more than a year to reconnect to being, the simplicity of connecting to my life force and Nature.
Go within and explore who you are. Go within and activate love for yourself – your emotional, physical, mental and spiritual aspects. Go within and balance light and shadow. Go within and embrace all that you are. Know that you are as whole and perfect as you were when you took your first breath – healthy, pure and powerful. Connect from this space to the earth, to Nature, to the majesty of life all around you. This is life. This is real.
All else is illusion. If there is fear, a need to force; if there is anxiety or confusion, be patient and still for a moment. Go within, connect with love and peace. Then look again. Feel again. There is only love and peace. We have been trained to create illusion in lieu of connecting with our strengths, our powers and connecting with all life on this Earth. All is as it should be.
Not sure where I am or what I am moving toward. Me, the I am inside my physical vessel, is connected to the highest and best in the Universe and at peace with all that is. I am so grateful for this life. I trust myself and the Divine guidance and I surrender to the highest and best in this moment and all that is. I am grateful for all that is and send blessings out from my inner refuge. These blessings are seeds that add to the beauty of life for all beings on this beautiful blue green planet.
Fresh in presence every all new. Experience life at a resonant frequency. Moving along with the flow of sine waves. Being in coordination with Self, Nature and the Elements.
Seriously when I woke up this morning I was begging for mercy from the ridiculous and depressing thoughts in my mind. Done. Please. What do I need to do to complete this chapter? How can I love this moment? How can I surrender this moment, this situation, this thought?
Natural cosmic law operates and flows and does not necessarily speak English. Practice slowing down and being still to see all kinds of communication opportunities available with rocks and trees and dogs and the invisible helpers ever present. Mmmm. So simple to be. So important to keep it simple.
“Do not obstruct it through
judgment or hatred…(this) will
just like anything else
that arises in your experience
naturally reveal its own nature
it will dissolve
leaving what is true” A.H. Almaas
The practice of slowing down and the above is driving the mental ego mind insane. There really are no worries and the ego mind just cannot have that surely. In addition, connecting to the resonant frequencies in a joyous fashion creates a harmony that nurtures and sustains each participant but also that principle “when any two are gathered in my name there also am I” is so activated and the energy generated ripples out from the circle enlivening all in its path. Focus people and focus together to change the world. Follow synchronicities to strengthen your confidence in living in concert with the automagic chthonic alchemical energies. Step now into believing in yourself and the universe – all seeming outer elements support thee in all endeavors for the highest and best.
From wikipedia.org, Paul Gauguin painted this in 1897 and called his painting: “Where do we come from? What are we? Where are we going?” And I add what are we built for? We are energy generators – powerhouses when activated – and yet who dares to stand up and step into the awesomeness of humanness with the grace of love, consensus and understanding.
Exercise – Useful for Focus Practice
from Rob Brezny 18/1/14
“Some of your illusions seeped into you before you learned to talk. Others sneaked into you later, while you were busy figuring out how to become yourself. Eventually, you even made conscious choices to adopt certain illusions because they provided you with comfort and consolation.
There’s no need to be ashamed of this. It’s a natural part of being a human being.
Now here’s the good news: You have the power to shed at least some of your illusions in ways that don’t shatter your foundations.
To begin the process, declare this intention at noon every Sunday for the next six months: “I am calling on all the power I have at my disposal, both conscious and unconscious, to dissolve my illusions.”
Love the message below. These are the thoughts to be thinking and heartfelt visions to be making.
Humanity’s Team Email for Inspiration on Saturday, January 18th, 2014
~The Intenders of the Highest Good; Vision Alignment Project by Noel West
A Vision For The World
I intend to hold a vision for the world where the water and air are clean and refreshing. A world where all the oceans and the life within them are healthy. I intend a world where all life is valued and honored. I intend a world where humans help other humans for everyone’s greater good. I intend a world where the soil is rich and provides only healthy crops. I intend a world where peace is always the goal and community is more important than greed and power.
I intend a world where day after day and week after week humans are waking up to their true potential. I intend a world guided by love and compassion. I see a world where loving compromise is the way of the land. I intend to hold the vision where the light of love burns brightly and our enemies become our loved ones. I intend a world where everyone’s beautiful chakra colors shine and dominate the landscapes. I intend a world where the energy from Mother Earth shoots up from the ground and into the soles of everyone’s feet and fills them with vitality. I hold the vision that this sacred vitality light the entire planet. I hold the vision and intend that our beautiful planet shows the galaxy and the many universes how love and light can transform the dark. And finally, I intend the cells within every life form on earth pulsate with light, love and vitality.
Una visión para el mundo
Es mi intención de mantener una visión para el mundo, donde el agua y el aire están limpios y frescos. Un mundo en donde los océanos y la vida dentro de ellos es saludable. Es mi intención, un mundo donde la vida sea valorada y honorada. Es mi intención, un mundo donde los humanos ayudan a los humanos para el mayor bien de cada cual. Es mi intención, un mundo donde la tierra es rica y produce solo un sembrado saludable. Es mi intención, un mundo donde la paz es siempre el objetivo y la comunidad es mas importante que la codicia y el poder.
Es mi intención, un mundo en donde día tras día y semana tras semana los humanos despiertan su verdadero potencial. Es mi intención, un mundo guiado por el amor y la compasión. Veo un mundo en donde una amorosa promesa es la moneda corriente. Es mi intención mantener la visión de la luz del amor encendida brillosa y que nuestros enemigos se vuelvan nuestros amigos. Es mi intención, un mundo donde el maravilloso color de los chakras brilla y predomina en todos los paisajes. Es mi intención, un mundo donde la energía de la Madre Tierra se levanta desde el suelo a través de la planta de los piés de todos y los llena de vitalidad. Mantengo una visión que esta vitalidad sagrada ilumine el planeta entero. Mantengo la visión e intento que nuestro maravilloso planeta muestre a la galaxia y a los diferentes universos como el amor y la luz puedan transformar la oscuridad. Y finalmente es mi intención que las celulas de los cuerpos vivientes pulsen amor, luz y vitalidad.
Today’s beautiful picture was sent in by Violet Maya Burge (copyright).
What a summer! To England for a wedding. Stonehenge. Glastonbury (so very worthy) and Avebury too. And then there was London and Bath too with lots of English countryside. One day we started on a steam train and rode it along the Severn River. Got a glimpse of Glastonbury Tor from a distance and then went to the Wookey Hole. That’s why there is that picture below. I swear we all entered Alice’s rabbit hole and came out the other side. Wookey Hole is a really cool ancient Neolithic (?) cave at the base of a really tight box canyon. Perfect spot for the cave man and woman. Shelter, spring water and when man goes out – he brings the bacon directly to the home. Mmmm. England – a perfect holodeck journey like on Star Trek. I sincerely believe that you experience what you are ready for in that magical space. Monumentally wonderful. Then July 29 planetary alignments, Lion’s Gate, Peace Portal. Oh my. Then abrupt job shift. What next? I surrender all fear, doubt and worry to be released and transformed into light. I am slowing down, breathing in my environment, grateful for all and to all. This is an excellent opportunity. I can feel it. In partnership with life, spirit, nature, the elements and all who serve the light I am. I am in partnership with life, spirit, nature, the elements and all who serve the light. We communicate with the vibration of love.
Making a lot of connections lately. The coolest part is asking a question inside and then receiving an answer. I tell you it’s true – if something, some area around you gets your attention – follow through. Picked up a book like that on Friday and three (3) key questions that I had been holding for many, many years are answered and done. Wow.
So. This morning, I remembered a play I saw in New York City on stage about making a live radio show. Do not remember the name of the play – set in Ireland… What is important to me now is the setting of that stage.
A microphone in the center of the stage with a stand holding the script. Along the side of the stage are about 6-7 chairs.
At any given moment during the course of moving the script – an actor or actors
stand before the microphone
deliver their lines
wait until next turn
Today, I share an “A-Ha!!” moment. This is a new level of energy pattern and process.
For months now, the flow of life moving through me has been whispering “Be still.” “Stop.” “Surrender.” “Breathe.”
The human in me wants to add listen and that’s when the radio play memory came to the fore.
As a human being, we should relax quite a whole lot into what we experience for we are only playing a small part – like one of the actors in a radio play. The rest of the time – which could be a lot – the requirement is to be still and quiet and, I think I can add the requirement is to listen and to observe. Nature is our textbook. What is happening now in your – this moment – is what is real. Center yourself in your being. Fill your heart with love and breathe in your environment. When it is your turn, follow the promptings and step up. You will know if you are still and alert to that still small voice inside.
So what is helpful to me in using the set on a stage for a radio play with a microphone in the center and a stand with the script with 6-7 seats on the side, also with scripts and stands.
As a human, I am part of the team of Nature and of Light. Other members of the team life forms include: two-legged, four-legged, winged ones, those with fins, the elements, the angels, the Devas. There are always Devas present in all moments everywhere. The elements take at least one seat on the stage. Nature, all embodiments has a seat. Angelic realm. It seems like there is one open seat that is beyond my imagining – welcome to all who serve the Light. And, let’s see, a seat shall always be reserved for Commander Ashtar and Ashtar Command.
Humans are part of an ensemble cast — this is not a one-man show – this is not a one life-form show.
Nature told me once “You create. You vision. We manifest. We maintain the form and make all things so.” It all starts to make more sense. Humans are tasked with setting out the vision. Then, we stop. Sit down. Take our place and watch as manifestation unfolds. There is a relaxation here with the seating of this realization within my heart. I am not alone. I do not have to figure everything out down to the last detail nor do I have to do it all myself nor do I need a bunch of people around me or other humans to do stuff. I hope to remember to always set an extra place at the table (or two – one invisible) every time we gather as humans for a meal or a conversation. There is always room for those who serve the Light at my table. We expand our horizons. Peace, love and light to all this fine day.
“What is most important is invisible to the eye…” from St. Antoine-Exupery’s The Little Prince.